Cars, Cable and Cauliflower

Yesterday was Cauliflower Leap for Life Day.

That’s the only explanation.

I made a lovely pan full of roasted cauliflower. Lots of florets, a little olive oil and high heat in the oven till you get lovely browned bits around the edges. Then, because this is what gets my family to eat cauliflower, you drizzle hot wing sauce over all, put it back in the oven long enough to heat through. Yummy. I can no longer purchase a single head of cauli, because that doesn’t make enough. I have to roast two at a time.

Cruciferous vegetables, hear me roar!

Except the dastardly vegetable had other plans. The first floret made its bid for freedom while Nikki was dishing up. Spoon, plate, floor, slipper. Why, yes, I would be referring to the brand new slippers I bought two days ago. Yes, hot wing sauce stains. Thanks for asking.

The second floret waited for Lucy. Spoon, plate, floor–ha! Slipper too far away. Number three tried to speed its way off my plate and into my lap, but the fork is quicker than the floret. I managed to stab it before it could roll down my shirt, across my pants and onto my slippers. The fourth, and final, floret made its pitiable attempt when Nikki went back for seconds. (Of a vegetable! I know!)

Somehow, Joe managed to eat his entire dinner without spilling anything. Everyone hates a show off.

Where do cars and cable come into this? As unsettling as the cauliflower incident was, I went downstairs to soothe myself by watching House. Last season to watch Hugh Laurie tear it up as the good doctor. Or, as I sometimes call it, “Tumor, tumor, where’s the tumor?” But…no.

My Tivo is dutifully recording channel 3. Because the online TV guide, the cable service and the television all think that House is on. Instead, I turn on the TV and I’m treated to the sight of a large group of cars driving around and around and around and around a track. I immediately assume I’m having a stroke. Nope. Perhaps the Tivo is recording the wrong channel. Nope. Maybe it isn’t Monday. Nope.

Just to check, I approach Joe. “Is the Indy 500 really a big bunch of cars driving around in a circle 500 times?”


“Why is that interesting?”

“I have no idea.”

So I’m not a race car fan. Anyone surprised? Didn’t think so.

BUT…I’m pretty sure the Indy 500 is a big deal to a lot of people. I’m pretty sure they know the date and time of the race waaaay in advance. So why didn’t the FOX network just put it on their programming schedule instead of taunting us with House and Alcatraz? Why didn’t TV Guide? Did they wake up Monday morning and say, “In celebration of the Cauliflower Liberation Movement, let’s scrap ALL of our regular programming for the day because all the Indy drivers decided to drive around in a circle 500 times? And they just decided this morning to do it today!”

Fortunately for me, the SciFi channel doesn’t give a crap about cauliflower or the Indy 500, so I was able to watch Lost Girl (outstanding Canadian television at it’s finest) and get my quota of mindless-viewing-pleasure-while-crocheting for the evening.

(P.S. I know the network is now called SyFy. Which is a ridiculous case of branding run amok.)



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9 responses to “Cars, Cable and Cauliflower

  1. Sue

    I would eat anything with hot wing sauce on it . . . except meat. I know, funny (as in odd). And I am suspicious of all vegetables; I think they all have a sneaky side.

  2. Sadly, the spilling of the food is an all too common event for me. Indy 500? snore. Lost Girl? Cecelia is a huge, nay, HUGE fan. 🙂

  3. Janet

    Get with the program. It wasn’t the Indy, it was the Daytona 500, scheduled for sunday but rained out. Sorry it ruined your plans. I will have to try cauliflower that way.

  4. gr

    Has anyone been an ass to you today? No? I’ll have to do it then.

    The Indy 500 is not a race of 500 laps. It is a race of 200 laps. I know, I know. You don’t care. Each lap is 2.5 miles. Now some math is involved. Get out your calculating machine. That equals 500.

    And it’s in May.

    I doubt anyone eats cauliflower at the 500.

    Your Hoosier Friend,

  5. Nancy

    MB – I am not a race car fan but after living near a race track in NH I have learned that this is the FIRST big race of the year and I think I heard it’s the first time in a billion years that it ever got rained out….go figure…..
    The cauliflower sounds real good….maybe we should put it on the menu for our “cousins weekend”……

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