We all get those forwarded emails from our friends, asking/begging us to play along and post our answers and share with the world. So I figured that here, I’d just answer them all at once, and save everyone the time of forwarding to me in the next cycle. Of course, if I’ve left out anything important, ask away!
Name as it appears on birth certificate: Sorry, it was obscured when my mother spilled a glass of water on the document after reclaiming it from me because I wasn’t responsible enough to have custody of it. I was in college. True story.
Nicknames: MB, embah, Mabel, Fred
Pierced body parts: Each ear, once.
Most recent movie you have seen in the theater: The Help
Eye color: Blue, not as pretty as my brother’s though
Place of birth: Canton, NY, although my sister maintains I was found under a cow patty
Favorite food: Vietnamese bun bowls
Ever been to Africa? Not that I know of
My uncle once: ditched his car while driving three hours to deliver my HS graduation cake.
When I was five: I was queen of all I surveyed.
Previous Jobs: Kitchen help, library aide, teaching assistant, bulk mail processor, market research supervisor/call center manager/project director, call center supervisor, telemarketing supervisor, A&E writer, food writer, Pampered Chef consultant, trouble maker
High School was: Not over fast enough.
I once met: Stanley Elkin, author, oldest person I ever heard drop the f-bomb
There’s this girl I know who: Acts like a tough broad, but jumps on a chair and yells “eeek” if she sees a mouse.
Do you have a website? Hello? Do you know where you are?
At a bar: I feel old. And I complain bitterly about the prices while trying to talk other people into buying my drinks.
By noon I’m usually: Well caffeinated.
Last night: I had a two-dollar glass of iced tea and a free piece of pie.
Favorite body part: My collar bones, because they seem to be the only thing not succumbing to gravity.
When I turn my head left: I see a snowdrift of papers, CDs, cameras, office supplies, a flamingo cup and a bra, all threatening to topple off my desk.
When I turn my head right: I usually see my big orange cat, Pogo, getting jiggy with his afghan. I think they’re engaged now.
If I were a character written by Shakespeare: I would sound a lot smarter.
By this time next year (January ’13): I’ll have a teenage driver in my house.
I have a hard time understanding: Televised sports and anything requiring spatial reasoning (except loading the dishwasher, which I excel at).
If I’d ever go back to school I would: Pay more attention.
You know I like you if: I give you my cell phone number.
Take my advice: Everyone needs therapy. Everyone.
My ideal breakfast is: A bacon sandwich on buttered, toasted homemade bread.
If you visit my hometown: You would be lost.
Random fact: Johnny Depp and I were born in the same year.
If you spend the night at my house: Tipping is encouraged.
The world could do without: Leaf blowers.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Teach small children. They frighten me.
If I do anything well, it’s: Make people laugh.
And by the way: Hang up when you’re interacting with a cashier, a clerk of any sort, or any other human being. Hang up when you’re driving, because you’re way less coordinated than you think you are.
The last time I was drunk: I rearranged all the furniture.
If you were me: You’d be good-looking. (Bonus points: what movie and what song?)
The best decade to live in is: The one you’re in. Like you have a choice?
My graduating class is/was: 1981 (HS), 1984 (college).
The best kind of parties are: the ones where I’m not the designated driver.
Ten years ago I: was filled with guilt about being a stay-at-home-mom and not bringing in any money. (I got over it.)
Ever been toilet papering: Kind of. Never went cow tipping, though. That’s mean.
Ever love someone so much it makes you cry? Yup. I have children–they make me cry for all sorts of reasons, one of which is crazylove.
Been in a car accident: Bike vs. car–broke my arm. Car vs. ice–ditched the car. I get parking tickets like nobody’s business, though.
Croutons or bacon bits: Bacon bits, but only if it’s real bacon.
Favorite day of the week: Tomorrow.
Favorite restaurant? The Jewish Mother in Virginia Beach. Or Josie’s in Canton, NY.
Favorite Flower? Silk.
Favorite sport to watch: Other people driving on ice, but only from a safe distance.
Favorite drink? Arnold Palmer.
Favorite ice cream? Chocolate, with stuff in it.
Favorite Fast Food: Garbanzo’s. Although the sweet potato fries at Crave are divine.
What color is your bedroom carpet: Dust-colored.
How many times did you fail your driver’s test? None.
Before this one, from whom did you get your last email: My sister.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? A book store, a thrift store, or a gourmet grocery store.
What do you do most often when you are bored: Hm, I don’t really have time to be bored. Probably read a book. Or write one.
Favorite TV shows: So You Think You Can Dance, House, Bones, Eureka, Being Human (both versions) and anything with Alton Brown
Last person you went to dinner with: My husband and our two daughters.
Ford or Chevy: Mazda.
What are you listening to right now: The hum and thump of the washing machine.
What is your favorite color: Green.
Lake, Ocean or river? Rivers. I grew up in the Adirondacks where there’s water everywhere. Colorado doesn’t have enough water to make a good puddle.
How many tattoos do you have: Don’t you wish you knew? If I told you, I’d have to kill you.